Finding Polaris 🌌

Wide awake at midnight, I wondered what is out there? What will I see? I saw stars out my window, the first time in several months. I was restless just imagining the photos. Staring at a computer for 14 hours a day, I started to lose my grasp of reality. I almost forgot stars could be seen by just simply looking outside my window. 

This year I decided to focus on photographing the Milky Way so I ordered a star tracker, something I’ve been wanting to get but feared of the potentially complicated setup. I asked myself as I do with every potential challenge, how hard can it be? It turned out, not difficult at all. I spent two hours in my backyard doing a test run right when the first stars were visible. At first I couldn’t tell if I was looking at the north star. I even looked south, east, and west, and realized, it was futile to be looking in those directions. The Little Dipper was too dim, but the Big Dipper was obvious even with the heavy light pollution. I finally thought I was certain of which star was the north star, the brightest star directly adjacent to the Big Dipper and the tail of the Little Dipper. 

Starting every spring to the end of summer, I am in search of the darkness, venturing out as far away from civilization as possible. It’s always a bit frightening being alone in the middle of the night in the wilderness. But once the tripod is set up, tracker aligned with Polaris, the remote release beeping, a sense of tranquility never fails to transpire. All the stress and worry about losing sleep and being out in the middle of nowhere, vanquishes in the moment I stare up at the vast expanse of stars. It’s a feeling of amazement, awe, and wonder, that cannot be described in words, only by being there, and regaining the connection with nature that is lost in our heavily industrialized society.

Whenever I stare up at the celestial sky, I realize I’m just a tiny speck living on a tiny speck in the universe, and no matter how big I think my ego is, I am insignificant. This rumination keeps me humble, makes me think about what it means to live, and to understand there is always something greater than myself.

May 23, 2020 | Photography & Art