Does anything really matter? 🤔

 

After a long mundane drive north on Highway 5, I made it to Old Ski Bowl, the highest you can drive up Mount Shasta. Feeling lethargic and have to drive back home tomorrow, I decided to take a nap as the Milky Way window starts after moonset. I set my alarm for 23:35. 

I awoke to my alarm, but saw an orange glow on the horizon. Oh my god. Is that moon?! 🌙 I jumped out of my car and whipped out my camera and tripod so fast like someone had a gun to my head. 

The waxing moon turned deep orange as it set over the horizon, reminiscent of a sunset due to wildfire smoke, a sight I’ve never before seen. 🌅 I only got to take two photos before it dipped below the Marble Mountains. Damn, I almost missed it!  

The Milky Way was out and bright despite the haze from the wildflowers. I continued to stand in the dark and cold, erratically slapping the mosquitoes that kept annoyingly buzzing close to my ear. Tranquility soon ensued as I was treated to a spectacular display of the celestial sky: the moon, the planets, the stars. I witnessed dazzling airglow and several meteors, one with a fiery tail that left me breathless. ☄️ 

Looking down on the flickering lights of human activity below made me view the world in a new perspective. Self reflection time! Time to get spiritual. It made me realize how small and insignificant my problems have become in comparison to the universe. I began to question everything. 

Are we in control? Are our lives already pre-defined? Does anything even matter?

Does it matter whether I eat a sandwich or burger for lunch? 

Does it matter whether or not I stay home this weekend or go on an epic road trip? 

Does it matter whether I almost missed the moonset? 

Look at the stars. 

Look at the stars that have been there for billions of years and tell me, does anything really matter?

It might matter to me, only. It might matter to people who know me. It might matter in the most insignificant amount on this planet. But in the grand scheme of the universe? Hell no. We are just galactic dust!

I also used to care about the littlest of things, like what kind of shirt to wear or what complete strangers thought of me. I still care! When I compare something like that to something like the trees, which has been there for decades or millennia, I asked myself, do you think the trees really care? No. 🙄 But caring about everything put me at the peak of anxiety. As I was laying in bed, breaking out in hives, losing consciousness, and one step from the ER, I realized:

My bank account didn’t matter
My career didn’t matter.
My cameras and photos didn’t matter.
My Tacoma didn’t matter.
This website didn’t matter.
Nothing I had or did mattered to me.

Because when we die, we don’t bring any of that with us! That’s why nothing matters. 

 

July 18, 2021 | Travel Stories