There’s Nothing Out Here 😳

I was on an overnight mission to check out the sand tufas and get the Milky Way at Mono Lake this weekend. As I pulled into the dirt parking lot, two of the only three cars that were there were leaving. I was expecting more people for a Saturday in June. As I got out my car, I saw the driver of the last car step out with a fancy Gitzo tripod. Yes! Another photographer 😊. I introduced myself and we both walked over to the tufas together. After a bit of chatting and walking around looking for the best compositions, I asked if he was going to stay after sunset because I wanted to see if I would have some company. He said he wished but his wife and kids were waiting in the car, ready to go to the hotel room for the evening. I said in a disappointing tone “🙁 well, guess I’m going to be all alone tonight”. He replied with a shrug 🤷🏻‍♂️, “there’s nothing out here 😳”. Meaning, there are no large animals, no other people who may be a threat; it’s just desert landscape with endless waist-high sagebrush.

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Before adolescence, I was very scared of the dark. I had the assurance from my sibling from sleeping in a shared room, but soon got annoyed of the snores and wanted my own space. When I finally moved into my own room, I was scared every night of something that might be lurking underneath my bed 🛏️. I remember I would wrap myself in blankets and leave a tiny gap for my mouth so I can breathe, scared of the darkness and being alone for the night. 

I was scared of the dark. I was scared of being all alone by myself, in my own house. 🙀 

Now, I’m out in the wilderness all by myself, sometimes with no communication to the outside world. I’m roaming around in the middle of the night looking for the darkest places I could find. I’m intentionally in the most desolate areas far from civilization, trying avoid any sort of light pollution that would impact my Milky Way photos. The only shield from the outside world is the car door or a tent ⛺️. 

There are times where I would still get freaked out. A large insect may fly by my head impeding the silence; a small creature would scurry across my feet and would surely spook me; or just the thought of being alone away and imagining a worse case scenario of a bear attack or serial killer. All those fearful thoughts would force me to cut my exposures short and jump back into the safety of my vehicle, counting the hours until day light would extinguish the darkness. 

It’s very easy to let your mind enter the positive feedback loop of fear. One thought can lead to a panic state if it’s not controlled. But I realized any sense of fear is all in your head. Its all in your head dude 🧠. Out of the countless times I’ve been out, there was nothing really to be worried about. *Knock on wood* But he’s right. There really is nothing out here. Literally! It’s wilderness. Heck, the city is more dangerous 😳. 

June 20, 2020 | Travel Stories
Inspired by JK